My Spiritual Midwifery 2006 - Inner Midwife Journey 

Finding Claridge by Karen Hynes 

Germanic times. Such a long long time ago when borders were not as they are now. Town square - stables, barns, dirt ground, fountain/well. My inner midwife Claridge sits on the stone wall that circles the town well. Bereft. The whole town is empty except for Claridge and she looks to the side and does not want to speak. 

I sit to her right side and just feel. We hold hands. We hold both of each others hands so our arms form a circle, a link between us - across dimensions of time. I feel the difference between my body with the interference of chemicals, pollution, baggage, stress - toxicity and scattering of consciousness inherent of living now. And I feel the comparison of Claridge's earthiness and more solidity of being. There is also an awareness of the circumstances that did compromise hers and a body of that's times immunity and being - different water, mould, rust, etc - the plague. 

A feeling around these circumstances is of hiding in case the mob turns against us. Keeping quiet. Hiding in a barn with straw. Like the plague or some epidemic has ravaged the land and wiped out whole villages. People turn in fear and commit genocide - witch hunts. Fear. Scapegoats. A deep knowledge of being the person blamed as the bringer of the sickness. Bereft, Claridge is so silent. 

As Rachana calls us gently back from this meditation I get my 'normal' buzz of anxiety, pushing, hurry along energy that accompanies me often. Turmoil around an experience that is about to end. Have I made the most of it? Did I get what I needed to from it? I haven't asked Claridge anything. I'm doing it all wrong. I've left it all to the last minute. It's all been a waste. I'm wasting my life! Regret. All fizzing together. And Claridge does teach me, yet she is still silent, but the knowing she imbues to me says to be patient and just be. Do not try to pull the baby out, just allow it to come. There is no need for the impatience. Do not pull the baby out before it is ready.